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Writer's picturebrenda mertes

What NOT to Say to a CDH Family

"Ignorance is bliss" is the old saying. The ignorance of society though, hurts us. Below are several mostly well-meaning but (bluntly put) ignorant statements that we wish you wouldn't say to the parents who just lost their child to CDH, the survivors themselves, and the parents of survivors.


1. "If you terminate this pregnancy, you most likely won't have another child with this"

2. "At least you know you can get pregnant and you aren't infertile"

3. "I wish I had nurses looking after my baby so that I could sleep" (NICU nurses aren't our babysitters)

4. "You can always have another one"

5. "If you didn't have this baby out of wedlock, this wouldn't have happened"

6. "What did you do that cause this?"

7. "Maybe it was caused by water contamination" (The cause is still unknown)

8. "It's just a hernia. It'll be fixed soon and he/she will be good to go"

9. "At least it isn't Cancer"

10. "I had a hernia once too" (this most definitely isn't the same as a regular hernia)


There is no definite known cause of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. This isn't just a hernia. Drinking and smoking does not cause this. We are not cursed with a very sick baby because we weren't married.


Thank you for reading!



CDH Star Valentina Hernandez


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